Spongebob has been finally been outed - his long-term relationship with a starfish called Patrick (obviously a lapsed Catholic of Irish origins) has finally been revealed...
You mean you didn't know? You should have asked the Ministry of Internal Security here in Malaysia. They could have told you. After all, they banned a Spongebob book. Apparently they haven't actually got around to banning him from TV yet - tut, tut. What about the moral safety of our kids, watching dangerous stuff like that? After all, everyone knows that not only is being gay immoral, but it's also contagious. Especially for four-year-olds.
I would love to tell you I am kidding. But I am not sure I can.
Read the comments section over on the Bibliobibuli blog. The question of Spongebob's sexuality is the serious concern of some church groups in Malaysia. And we already knew that Spongebob has aroused the ire of the "our moral guardians" (the Ministry's words, not mine). At least one Spongebob book was refused import at the border.
Oh, and the interesting thing is this : the Ministry suggests that any distributor who wants to appeal the banning of a book at the border can send a copy to the Ministry for reconsideration. See a news report here. Huh? Just how does one send to the Ministry a copy of book that you are not permitted to import in the first place?
I shudder to think that this is the Ministry bestowed with our security. This country is beset with problems like illegal logging, poaching, drug addiction, bag-snatching, cable theft, loan sharks, terrorist cells, global warming, diminishing fish stocks, stealing of metal from public and private property, violence against women, white slavery, child prostitution, illegal immigration, apostasy (there are actually people trying to CHANGE their religion, for crying out loud!) ....and they are devoting their resources to banning Spongebob?
P.S. the Ministry is incorrect anyway. Sponges aren't gay, they are hermaphodite and terribly promiscuous. In public too. And kids actually swim in the sea, you know! Worse, sponges start being sexual around three years of age. Disgusting, really. They should all be banned from the ocean and confined to our bathtubs.
Down with sponges!